God at her elbow

“God at Her Elbow” is a collection of paintings centered around the theme of perspective shifts. I read this phrase in a C.S. Lewis book when he wrote about his wife, Joy, who had been haunted one morning by a sense of God (so to speak) at her elbow, demanding her attention. She had a feeling that it was in regards to Him needing her to repent of a sin, or perform some good tedius duty. But when she gave in and faced Him, the message was “I want to give you something” and instantly she entered into joy.

When I started painting , a very good friend of mine was dealing with a harrowing cancer diagnosis. She and I continued to grow closer as she began to become more ill. I was able to hear and watch how she was experiencing the reality of death looming at her door. She had always been the most lovely, graceful person and was even more so while dealing with grueling pain. How she handled herself and the time she had left was incredibly life giving for me. She knew God and knew how loved she was and she began to experience His love in a way that brought her to tears just talking about it. She wanted to wake up and spend hours with God, reading His word, talking to Him, and praying for others. Worshiping. Not because she wanted to earn favor with Him or make things right, but because she knew how great His love was for her. God was 'at her elbow' waiting to embrace her with the deepest peace and joy one could ever imagine. Why would you not want to spend your last days overwhelmed with that kind of peace?  She spent her whole life giving and was just learning how to fully receive. I felt so honored to be a second hand witness of what it meant to fully surrender and to have her share some of those moments with me. She was one of the first people in my life to encourage my painting and take me serious. I had taken some time away from work to find some space to just be, which often led me to having more time to 'just be' with God. As a professional multi-tasker, painting and being with God felt more productive, as I could listen to sermons and worshipful music while I got lost in brush strokes, in the blending and mixing of colors and whatever nonsense I wanted to put on canvas. Never needing to share anything. It was fulfilling and brought me so much joy. As time has passed on,  I began to share and sell my work.  In turn, as one always does, getting in my own way, there's been that tugging at my elbow. As restorative as art is for me, I can still sometimes feel the dread of going in to paint because I have unfinished pieces or things in the studio that need my attention. Our perspectives shift. We need reminders day after day and every minute in between that those things 'tugging at our elbow' are there to offer something to us and all we have to do is be willing to receive. This collection is my best efforts at simply receiving.